Despite all the ridiculous things I have done for the Texan, writing this column is by far the hardest. I have had a near-miss with death, chased disasters with cameras and driven an old van the whole way to and from New Orleans during a hurricane watch. Yet this is the most difficult assignment I’ve been given. It seems in spite of the countless hours I have spent in the newsroom, I still do not know how to string together more than two sentences at a time.
If you know me at all, you know I’m terrible with words. In fact, I’m a terrible communicator in general. Any of my friends can tell you that. On top of that, I am not a sappy person. I have the emotional maturity of a small child. My prevailing mood is ambivalence. Otherwise, I am petulant and frustrated, giddy and hyperactive or extremely somber. So, I am struggling to find what to say.
I can’t say I’m entirely sad about leaving. That would not be the complete truth. While flipping through my sketch-journal for ideas of what to write, I found this scribbled on the back of my cover sketch for Double Coverage volume 13, issue 5: “Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve had my shit together.” That characterizes about 60% of my time at the Texan. What I mean to say is I feel relieved. I will, however, miss the camaraderie only collective sleep-deprivation and stress can bring to a group. I guess the thing that keeps me from feeling too sad about leaving is the knowledge that though my time with the Texan is ending, the friendships I have made through the Texan are not.
To my friends from random other student publications: what an incredible community to be a part of. Thanks for having me. To Juan, thank you for taking a chance on a young freshman who barely knew how to work with a camera and for teaching me to find light wherever I am. Gabe, we had a rough start with the whole Target kerfuffle, but you still took time to mentor me, and I am forever grateful. Carlos, thank you for being an emotional sounding board during some of my most depressive states. For all the crap we give you, Anthony, I have faith you won’t let the department crash and burn next semester (Eddie, please keep him in check). Bless you Peter for having patience with me and allowing me to stay on even as I took a job with Athletics. Vanessa, Andrea, Alex, Drew and Ross: I love you guys, and that is all.
This paper has given me what will for sure be the most memorable experiences of my college career, and I am so incredibly blessed to have been a part of this family. Daily Texan forever.