Freshmen: Here’s how to embarrass yourself on campus

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You’re going to do something embarrassing your freshman year. Whether you run into a glass window trying to get to your final exam, like this girl:

Or you get lost on your your first day:

Your cheeks will warm and your face will cringe many times this next year. Here are some potential situations you should avoid:

Jester West Dormitory

Get caught making out in the stairwell because your roommate is at his desk playing Xbox Live.

 

Jester East Dormitory

Think you’re in Jester West.

 

McCombs School of Business

Show up to the career fair in your prom suit.

Hogg

Confuse this place with Hogg Auditorium and arrive late to class. The map abbreviation for Hogg is “WCH.” No one knows why.

Speedway

Get hit by the Domino’s delivery driver’s bike. The man is on the hunt.

University Teaching Center

Call your professor “Mom” or “Dad.”

Robert Lee Moore Hall

Frantically push buttons to take the elevator to floors 5, 6 or 7. It’s not happening.

Belo Center for New Media

Those giant stairs in the foyer entrance, yeah, you’ll trip. Or drop your phone between the steps and rail and watch it fall 50 feet down.

Dean Keeton

Take up biking during college and start on your first ride here.

Kinsolving Dining

Steal forks to use in your off-campus apartment next year.

Norman Hackerman

Ask what those canoes are for. Nobody knows. The joke is old.

Online

Treat people from the #UT22 or other meme Facebook pages like gods. Better yet, create an IRL shrine to a plush dog and then kidnap him like #UT19 did.

Gregory Gym

Walk around trying to figure out where the actual gym equipment is. Turn right or left and go down some stairs, you’ve got this.

Perry-Castaneda Library

You don’t need to spend the night in the library. Your bed in Jester is, like, 100 feet away. Go to sleep.